Bitch read below, and you'll find some interesting shit about me and shit you never once new before. Indeed. You may call me Vanburen, Mr.Vanburen, Officer.Vanburen. Adam, sometimes called dumbass, moron, loser, loner, asshole, fucker, fuckhead, dweab, nerd, assmuncher, retard, queer, i think ive been called a hermaphrodite, felcher, faggot, beastiality lover, necrophiliacer, teabagger, salad tosser, carpet muncher....yeah i think you get the picture..ANYWAY, into the interesting shiaat nigga. 

by the way, if you think your a whigger, you dont stand a chance against these pros.....
http://wgz.8k.com/

Dont forget to check out my dope pimp ride. HERE

Twas a couple nights before christmas, and all about the town
Not your mom was talking, no screaming was the sound.
Your moms legs where open, with soft gentle care, in hopes that the fat dude would soon be there.
Hotrex was cracked out on his futon type bed, while visions of gay men danced through his head.
His mom started to whine, and me just the same, she wanted my huge cock in her wet mane.
Away to her pussy I busted a move, tore open her shutters while spilling some brew.
when from her mouth there bust a noice so abrubt, I ripped it out to see whats up.
I said whats wrong my dear, as she took another sip of dirty rotten imported beer.
She said with a lisp  "you have to stop"  "I can't take the large size of your huge fucking cock"
This is too weird, too weird I did say, what the fuck is wrong with you, where should I fuck you anyway.
So I slapped hotrexs mom, and said, I'm gona fuck you till dawn
A bright thought came into my head, I flipped your mom over on that dirty ass bed
I fucked her till she was high, whoa check it out, all i can say, man, it was fly.
I looked at my watch, all the time spent, was simply 35 mins, to my dumbfounded amasement.
Finally the punishing was over, I took off, like my name was red rover
I hoped  in my car, man was it bitchin', still in my confusion, my head was itchin'
Threaded-up with red baggies and a sportin red coat, cellphone, and credit card I also did tote
Stoped by at the store, ran through the door, I needed some more condoms for that crappy little whore.
Swirving potholes and speedbumps as i grew near, then crankin my sound system, for music to hear.
'Now, Dasher now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen, On Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen'
AS I arrived back home, I fucked her so phat , till she had foam, spilling from her skat
By that time she was ripped, I thought she was fine, but Hotrexs poor mom was ripped down the line.
So I took off in my cool ride, right down the street, now hotrexs mom has one hole, which I think is pretty neat.

Lockin up my brakes, then grazing a wall, I yelled,

Fuck Hotrexs mom, and fuck a hotrexs mom to all

About ME!
Aron Ralston IS MY IDOL!
If you're asking yourself "who the hell is Aron Ralston," you'd better step back and re-evaluate your life right now. Ralston, the living legend, was hiking up a cliff in southern Utah (probably to do something manly like take a leak off of it), when a giant boulder fell on him, pinning his arm against the ground. Most people would have just died, but did he surrender his life to a mere giant life-threatening boulder? Hell no. He just kept getting angrier and angrier until he finally CUT OFF HIS ARM WITH A DULL KNIFE. This after he literally chiseled away at the bone so he could snap his arm off and free himself from underneath the rock. Yes, you read that correctly, he cut off his own arm with a dull pocket knife!!!!!

Favorite Quotes
If you can't give something from the heart, the next best thing is to give something from the crotch!

People are stupid, that is why we have so many f*cking problems in the world.


Interesting Things
I'm tired of women bitching when guys fart. Farting around a woman is like listening to a radio permanently stuck on the wailing bitch station I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FARTED. Yeah it's real hard to believe that guys have the ability to let out air from their colons, call Ripley.
Women shriek non-stop about how bad guys stink when they fart, then they act like they fart sunshine and kittens from their a$s-holes when they rip one. Women farts smell like old men!
A woman's fart is embarrassing whereas a guy's fart is something to behold, like a fine wine you swish in your mouth and spit out to savor the flavors. A real fart is beefy, has a density greater than or equal to the air surrounding it, consists of the unmistakable scent of broccoli, and usually requires wiping afterwards.

My Favorites

Favorite Band or Musician: Most of Anything
Favorite TV show: Simpsons Go Homer!
Favorite movie: hmm Anything Pornographic
Favorite book: Playboy
Favorite sports team: Fuck Sports
Favorite food: All food is good!

Funny pictures
Identical Twins

Discussing penis size

<Erik_N> Everyone has a dark secrets... some ppl are killers, some ppl are homos.. I use a mac

<chisoxiest> is it just me... or does eveyone think that quadrapelegics are greedy?
<chisoxiest> "i can't reach that"
<chisoxiest> "i'm not tall enough"
<chisoxiest> i mean c'mon now

<Firebrand> Mario and Luigi are just too "goody goody" with each other.
<Firebrand> I'd wonder what kind of "plumbing" they do
<Firebrand> As I never see them with the tools

stupid...yet funny joke
Why did Hitler commit suicide...he got the gas bill. 

dont ask how i came across this link...http://www.crazy-ass-sex-toys.com/ but its an odd one.